Scared of the what

(based on a true story)

When I was a nipper, a bit younger than you,
I wasn’t afraid of things that went ‘boo!’.
Creepies and crawlies didn’t scare me one bit,
I once licked a slug – Mum had a fit!
Was I frightened of spiders? Or big kids in the park?
No way! I wasn’t even scared of the dark!

But there was one thing that set me a-quiver.
A certain creature that sure made me shiver…
“What was he like!?” I can hear you shout,
“Describe him to us so we can look out!”

Well my friends, I’m sorry to say,
This creature was smart, he gave nothing away.
He probably had big teeth and green eyes,
And he probably knew how to make little boys cry.
He probably dribbled and drooled everywhere,
And he could probably give anybody a scare.

But if you asked me to pick him out of a crowd,
I’d just have to guess, and that’s not allowed.
Oh, I know what you’re thinking, tucked up in bed,
“If I’d never seen him, why was I scared?”

This creature caused mischief with unseen glee,
And did two things that really spooked me:
One: he’d sing (but it didn’t sound nice),
Two: he’d make everything cold as ice.

When the sun went down, he’d start to moan,
He’d whistle and whimper, and grumble and groan,
He’d tap on the window and rattle the door,
I’m sure I could hear him cleaning his claws.

He had long chilly fingers, and long icy toes,
He’d creep right past you and blow on your nose!
He could make you shiver or go ‘brrr’ with your lips.
Try to catch him and he’d give you the slip.

His mission in life was to live in the house,
So he tries to sneak in, quiet as a mouse.
He lived in the garden and out in the shed,
But I knew that he’d rather be under my bed.

I hope you’re not too scared – I’m so pleased you came,
Are you ready to hear this creature’s name?
Promise not to call me daft?
Alright. This windy beast is known as the DRAUGHT.

So if a curtain rustled or he rattled the bins,
We’d shout, “Quick! Don’t let the draught in!”

Spooked by this beast, I’d have sleepless nights,
Any bangs, creaks or groans would give me a fright.
One evening, I told my mum what was wrong,
She chuckled, hugged me and then sang a song.

“My little pickle, don’t be scared,
My little pumpkin, we can prepare!
I’ve got an idea to keep out the draught,
My little pip-squeak, we’ll do it with craft!”

Mum’s idea was super-dooper
We were to make a draught-excluder!

The next morning mum sent me upstairs,
“Get lots of socks, don’t worry about pairs”.
We spent the morning drawing and cutting,
And the afternoon stitching and stuffing.

We finished by tea just in time for some cake,
I had my very own draught-busting snake!

That night, the draught crept up to my door
But there was Snakey, ready on the floor.
The pesky Draught didn’t stand a chance,
Snakey barely gave him a second glance.

These days we keep snakes all over the place,
Warmer, cosier – it really is ace.
Outside, the Draught still rattles the bins,
But I know for sure he’ll never get in!

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